Reading the biographies of Russian singers I used to listen to:

"Supports the invasion."
"Supports the invasion."
"Married to a bank fraudster. Also supports the invasion."

I applied for a new credit card, and the bank asked me what credit limit I want to apply for.

IDK, you're the bank, don't you have an algorithm for this?

My sim has died via transmutation into gold so many times that she's on friendly terms with the grim reaper. (Also, the statues have funded the acquisition of the science lab, robotics building, and a bar).

I had her get the mail and there were love letters, from the grim reaper, addressed to her and to her robot son.

They've also moved out of the starter house (and in the process sold the invisible gold statue that I could not move or get rid of) and into a fairy castle. Unfortunately the fairy castle has almost no usable garden space, so they also bought a giant nearby lot for planting purposes.

Me: So my sim is a witch and also a master alchemist, meaning that she can constantly conjure apples for free and then transmute them into gold for a lot of money. The only downside is that there's like a 1% chance each time that she'll get turned into a gold statue, but she's immune to that because she has a death flower. Oh look, she just got turned into a statue.

Spouse: Isn't that the thing that isn't supposed to happen?

Me: But see, she's already giving the grim reaper the death flower. And she's back to life! And she kept the statue, I wonder how much it sells for?

Spouse: ...that's a lot of money.

Me: Yeah. (sells statue) And she's on her way to buy out the bookstore before the death music even goes away.

Spouse: So as long as she can grow another death flower, she can make infinite money?

Me: She's a master gardener too, so she already has a lot of death flowers. I can have her buy the entire town soon at this rate.

Spouse: ...so your sim is a late-stage capitalist?

I did, admittedly, have some feelings initially about the fact that we did a courthouse ceremony instead of a wedding.

But the more people tell me about their weddings, the more glad I am we did that.

No drama in our families or social circle! Almost entirely stress free! We only had to remember to show up! And the whole thing cost under $200!

Person with no hobbies: So have you considered monetizing that thing you do for fun?

You can't cook-at-home/buy-in-bulk your way out of debt or into house ownership, but I just did the math, and if my coworkers weren't buying takeout for lunch every day, they could afford hobbies.

If I had a nickel for every time I got a hundred dollar bill at the dentist's office, I would have two hundred dollars and two nickels. That's not a lot, but it's weird that it's happened twice.

PS if someone has that "how to avoid big hospital bills" video/Tumblr post, I will need it sometime in the near future, please gimme a link.

"You can't trust lawyers, they're only interested in getting paid. Unlike me, the person trying to sue you for ten grand for purely altruistic reasons. You can trust me because I definitely have your best interests in mind."