(It's me, I'm vegetarians)

[palominocorn]

Vegetarians at a restaurant:

• The rice looks good- never mind, fish sauce.
• Why does the pea soup have ham in it?
• Okay so the salad of shredded lettuce is vegetarian, that's nice.
• I could really go for a bowl of beans right about now but there's chicken in it.
• Can I make an entire meal out of sides?
• The corn on the cob isn't vegetarian? It's literally just grilled corn! How do you add meat to that?!
• Sausage? In the lentil stew?
• The grain bowl has fish in it. Does a bowl of grain really need extra heartiness added?
• Found one vegetarian pasta dish hidden among the meat sauce ones.
• They put crumbled bacon on the veggie burger? What's even the point of a veggie burger at that point?
• Maybe they'll have a vegetarian taco - nope, only chicken or beef.
• I guess I could have... avocado toast. Unless they've found a way to sneak lard into the avocado...
• No, I do not want shrimp dip on the side. Why do I have to field this question so often?
• Oh crap everyone's looking at me expectantly, it's my turn to order. Pasta or salad? Pasta or salad?
• (does not get invited out again for months)