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No, tech support online websites, when I say "my computer is stuck on a Windows update", I mean that it is STUCK. It WILL NOT BOOT. At ALL. I cannot go into settings or do a regedit or boot into safe mode. It. Is. STUCK.
Ah, symptom roulette: when something is definitely wrong but it's impossible to figure out what.
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The phenomenon of shower thoughts will start to disappear as soon as smartphones become reliably waterproof.
Me: Coworkers, can you please do the thing?
Coworkers: Sure! (don't do the thing after being reminded four times over the course of a month)
Me: Ugh, fine. (does the thing myself)
My manager: Why do you never ask your coworkers for help?
Coworkers: Sure! (don't do the thing after being reminded four times over the course of a month)
Me: Ugh, fine. (does the thing myself)
My manager: Why do you never ask your coworkers for help?
I had assumed that the granola people would turn to gooseberries as a superfood at some point in my lifetime.
But if Home Depot is selling gooseberries, then it's going to happen before the decade is out.
But if Home Depot is selling gooseberries, then it's going to happen before the decade is out.
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Home Depot has blue banana plants and two varieties of gooseberry.
I'm amazed.
I'm amazed.
I got some potted flowers as a gift and forgot to ask what they were.
Fifteen minutes of scrolling through flower lists later and I discovered I have some Persian cyclamen.
Fifteen minutes of scrolling through flower lists later and I discovered I have some Persian cyclamen.
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My parents told me that advertising works on a subconscious level: though "of course" no one would go out and buy something after seeing it in an ad, the repeated exposure would subtly push you toward it.
They gave the general public way too much credit, as it turns out: these last few years I keep seeing people not only buy things through ads, but even deliberately seek out advertising to find new products. As someone who despises and avoids ads, I find this absolutely baffling.
Anyway, an advertisement did actually work on me: I saw banners for an exhibit at our local museum and we all went to check it out.
They gave the general public way too much credit, as it turns out: these last few years I keep seeing people not only buy things through ads, but even deliberately seek out advertising to find new products. As someone who despises and avoids ads, I find this absolutely baffling.
Anyway, an advertisement did actually work on me: I saw banners for an exhibit at our local museum and we all went to check it out.
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I crack up when I see knitting/crochet patterns for market bags that are clearly meant to carry one lemon.
If I'm taking a bag to the market, it better be ready to hold a squash, a bag of apples, a bunch of carrots, and a leek.
If I'm taking a bag to the market, it better be ready to hold a squash, a bag of apples, a bunch of carrots, and a leek.
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An attempt was made at grafting the nectarine tree.
Was it a good attempt? Time will tell.
Was it a good attempt? Time will tell.
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I once went to what I thought was going to be an educational stargazing event, which actually turned out to be an "impress rich people using fancy telescopes and cameras" fundraiser.
Having done real stargazing before, and also having gone to many actually educational events in my life, I starkly recognized the difference. There was no actual gazing at the stars, only talking about all the capabilities of the equipment; the presenter was hilariously misinformed at best and in some spots actively lying; and if anyone actually learned anything it was purely incidental. I've had a better time just standing outside at night listening to space nerds go on about constellations.
It really clarified the "bored, depressed rich person" phenomenon for me, and why people with money tell you that money can't buy happiness. If every experience is about showing off your money, and every interaction is an attempt to get some money out of you, then there's no opportunity for learning, creativity, or social engagement - three things that are critical to human happiness. And thus money, the thing that brought you here in the first place, becomes the very thing standing in your way.
Having done real stargazing before, and also having gone to many actually educational events in my life, I starkly recognized the difference. There was no actual gazing at the stars, only talking about all the capabilities of the equipment; the presenter was hilariously misinformed at best and in some spots actively lying; and if anyone actually learned anything it was purely incidental. I've had a better time just standing outside at night listening to space nerds go on about constellations.
It really clarified the "bored, depressed rich person" phenomenon for me, and why people with money tell you that money can't buy happiness. If every experience is about showing off your money, and every interaction is an attempt to get some money out of you, then there's no opportunity for learning, creativity, or social engagement - three things that are critical to human happiness. And thus money, the thing that brought you here in the first place, becomes the very thing standing in your way.
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In the last six weeks, I've had three packages (by three different carriers to boot) delivered to the wrong address.
Before I moved to this street, I had ONE misdelivered package in my life.
Before I moved to this street, I had ONE misdelivered package in my life.
Less than six hours into 2026 and I'm already writing 2025 on something. That's a new record!
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"I'm so normal about plants," I say, planting purple and yellow strawberries next to my yellow and black raspberries.
"Just so extremely normal," I insist, as I graft a sixth variety onto my apple tree.
"The most normal ever," I say, knowing I'm not convincing anyone as I unpack a nursery box containing a blue banana and a fifth pineapple.
"Just so extremely normal," I insist, as I graft a sixth variety onto my apple tree.
"The most normal ever," I say, knowing I'm not convincing anyone as I unpack a nursery box containing a blue banana and a fifth pineapple.
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Is my portabello mushroom box growing mycellium? Or am I incubating a big moldy contamination in my closet?
Who knows? Not me!
Who knows? Not me!
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"My kids are constantly scrolling social media on their smartphones" says parent who bought their kids smartphones and then forked out a hundred dollars a month to connect them to the internet.
Looking for jam recipe for reasons* and the number of recipes I found that called for Jell-O as an ingredient was... distressing.
*Reasons may or may not be related to the gardening I've been doing this year.
*Reasons may or may not be related to the gardening I've been doing this year.
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Sometimes we all just feel a little bit blobby, am I right?
In the past, when someone complained about being fired or let go from at least three jobs, I used to make sympathetic noises.
Having now had to deal with multiple people who just happened to have a string of dysfunctional jobs, I now smile tightly and wait for the reasons to become clear.
Having now had to deal with multiple people who just happened to have a string of dysfunctional jobs, I now smile tightly and wait for the reasons to become clear.
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