(no subject)

Someone: This is inexplicable.

Me: No, it's really quite simple. You're just bad at explaining.

(no subject)

When I was ten or so, my father gave me two dip pens and an inkwell engraved with a message from his parents.

Two decades later, I can't help but wonder: was this a gift to continue the family legacy, or a desperate attempt to relieve himself of the burden they'd placed on him?

(no subject)

Got a 500% yield and I'm going to go with our quality team's assessment: our analytical machine is garbage.

(no subject)

White love interest: I love you so much! (Stalks, belittles, and sexually assaults the protagonist; physically assaults the other [non-white] love interest; goes into a destructive rage when rejected; keeps plot-relevant information secret out of jealous spite.)

Fans: Oh you poor thing, you have never done anything wrong in your life and your love is so pure!

Black love interest: I love you so much! (Acts loving, kind, and respectful; looks at another person for two seconds too long one time.)

Fans: What a disgusting, problematic character. Clearly they don't love the protagonist at all. #cancelled

(no subject)

Me: I need to do something relaxing after that meeting.

Me: (picks up a 400-page monster of a highly scientific book to read) Yes, perfect.

(no subject)

I WANNA DO A CARTWHEEL SO BAD.