/blatant lies

(goes to my local small bookstore and buys a huge armful of books) I am doing this Altruistically. I am Supporting Small Local Business. This is for the Community. I am not doing this for Selfish Reasons at all.

(no subject)

Don't get me wrong, it beats having SLE or MS (which is what the doctors kept testing me for), but the whole "when I get too stressed or anxious my muscles constrict in horrific pain" thing? NOT. COOL.

:)

Hey everyone, I have this fine vintage of wine, it's on my Tumblr.

(no subject)

No one in my middle school stood up for the pledge of allegiance.

I, however, being a Dirty Foreign Commie, was the only kid that the teacher chewed out for Not Demonstrating Patriotism.

(no subject)

Label on chemicals: Contains 20% ethanol. Can be hazardous if consumed.

Me, an ex-alcoholic: Yeah, I bet.

Dig my grave on this hill, I will die here

"Cursive is slow and painful and soooo inefficient."

You get good at what you practice, y'know? If you only read and write print, and start moaning about the Inherent Problems with Cursive whenever someone so much as connects two letters, guess what? YOU AIN'T EVER GOING TO GET GOOD AT CURSIVE.

Maybe if you took the energy it takes to Moan About Cursive and put it into LEARNING cursive, you'd have no need to moan about cursive, yeah?

THERE! IS! NO! T!!!!

Me: Transliteration is an art, not a science, there's going to be variation.

Someone: Borscht.

Me: I WILL BOIL YOU WITH THE BEETS.

(no subject)

"Wow you're so good at (whatever artistic or athletic thing I'm doing)!"

I am Literally Not, Though. The only difference between me and you is that I Actually Try instead of having given up on it all in middle school.