Yeah, "person who enters a counterculture and goes waaaay overboard" is absolutely a thing. I've personally encountered it in kink: that one person who goes around turning their nose up at vanilla sex and saying that if you "just" mash genitals and cuddle that's less emotional or whatever. (Which, it very well might be for that specific person! But n=1 is not a significant dataset.)
Or the "I'm a dom so I'm going to dominate you even if you didn't consent" (urghhhh, seen it, makes me ragey every time, YOU'RE NOT MY FUCKING MOM), or "I'm a sub, dominate me" (never met one myself, but others have and HOLY CREEPTASTICAL BOUNDARY ISSUES, BATMAN!)
In the end, I don't really have much investment in the whole thing beyond my usual "I want everyone to be happy" life philosophy, but it's awfully uncomfortable to think about what sort of message monogamous and poly-but-not-yet-aware people are getting from this, because there aren't many of them but they sure are awfully loud. And seeing it wrapped up in the same package as "romance is evil and how dare you want your partner to buy you flowers sometimes" and "the nuclear family is inherently terrible and how dare you not live in a great big commune", which is like. A trifecta of "the way you relationship is bad and you should feel bad" from a community supposedly friendly to me after a lifetime of being told by normative society that being bi, being aroace, being really weird around touch, being genderweird, being kinky, being clinically fucking insane, and so many other things made me an inherently bad partner.
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Date: 2019-11-05 08:58 pm (UTC)Or the "I'm a dom so I'm going to dominate you even if you didn't consent" (urghhhh, seen it, makes me ragey every time, YOU'RE NOT MY FUCKING MOM), or "I'm a sub, dominate me" (never met one myself, but others have and HOLY CREEPTASTICAL BOUNDARY ISSUES, BATMAN!)
In the end, I don't really have much investment in the whole thing beyond my usual "I want everyone to be happy" life philosophy, but it's awfully uncomfortable to think about what sort of message monogamous and poly-but-not-yet-aware people are getting from this, because there aren't many of them but they sure are awfully loud. And seeing it wrapped up in the same package as "romance is evil and how dare you want your partner to buy you flowers sometimes" and "the nuclear family is inherently terrible and how dare you not live in a great big commune", which is like. A trifecta of "the way you relationship is bad and you should feel bad" from a community supposedly friendly to me after a lifetime of being told by normative society that being bi, being aroace, being really weird around touch, being genderweird, being kinky, being clinically fucking insane, and so many other things made me an inherently bad partner.