Hello, is this the Family Services Department? My mother-in-law is being a big pain in the butt about Christmas even though it's not even Thanksgiving yet, can I cancel the In-Laws package and get a refund please?
God I hate that song so much. I want to take it out back and shoot it. With a giant flamethrower.
See, my disabled queer atheist ass is explicitly NOT invited to their Christmas. Because it's TOOOOOOO AWKWAAAAAAAAAAARD. But they were quite happy to take the personalized, hand-made, high-quality gifts I made them.
(I MADE HER A GODDAMN FUCKING DOLPHIN OUT OF A COCONUT, LIKE, TOOK A COCONUT, CUT IT OPEN, GOT ALL THE EDIBLE STUFF OUT, MADE WOODEN PANELS FOR THE FINS AND SHIT, HOT GLUED CUTE LITTLE RHINESTONE EYES ONTO ITS HAPPY LITTLE FACE, AND THEN I FUCKING SEWED IT A TOP HAT AND BOWTIE, AND DID I GET A THANK YOU? NOOOOOOOOOOOO!)
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I've already got the requisite three WHY WON'T YOU COME DOWN FOR CHRISTMAS PLZ emails from my aunt.
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See, my disabled queer atheist ass is explicitly NOT invited to their Christmas. Because it's TOOOOOOO AWKWAAAAAAAAAAARD. But they were quite happy to take the personalized, hand-made, high-quality gifts I made them.
(I MADE HER A GODDAMN FUCKING DOLPHIN OUT OF A COCONUT, LIKE, TOOK A COCONUT, CUT IT OPEN, GOT ALL THE EDIBLE STUFF OUT, MADE WOODEN PANELS FOR THE FINS AND SHIT, HOT GLUED CUTE LITTLE RHINESTONE EYES ONTO ITS HAPPY LITTLE FACE, AND THEN I FUCKING SEWED IT A TOP HAT AND BOWTIE, AND DID I GET A THANK YOU? NOOOOOOOOOOOO!)