@ Wizards, the offer to pay me to write for you is still open

[palominocorn]

Okay, but if 5E changed the origin of tieflings and aasimar from "extraplanar fuckin'" to "your ancestors made a business deal with outsiders and it had weird epigenetic effects" then why not do the same for half-elves and half-orcs?

Many years ago, Queen Pomplesnoup the Sixteenth secretly made a pact with the local orc tribes to empower herself with the might of Gruumsh to defeat an invading necromancer's army. Now, her great-great-great-grandson, Prince Fafefifofu has just had a child... who has tusks and dark green skin!