![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Not that it excuses how my siblings behaved, but in retrospect, I wonder how much of our issues stemmed from our mother telling us only the most incriminating bits of information about each other, or maybe even outright lies.
Did my parents really gift my oldest sibling half a million dollars less than two years after telling me they wouldn't pay for college, or...? Did they gift a smaller amount, did they offer but not give it in the end, did they cosign a loan? And on the flip side - my sibling seemed genuinely surprised when I said I got a full scholarship, because they were under the impression that our parents were paying. Did our mother tell them that she was paying for my education when all she paid for was a few things for my dorm room, did she say she paid for something and my sibling assumed it was the whole thing, did she just straight-up lie?
In particular I remember a conversation in which my sibling blew up at me because I was upset that my mother got to travel to a place I'd dreamed of going my whole life and hadn't asked me (it was during finals week, so I wouldn't have been able to go anyway, and I wasn't yelling about it - just expressed that I was bummed after the fact), and the exact words out of their mouth were "she INVITED YOU and YOU SAID NO" - when no such thing had happened. And once I flatly stated that no, she hadn't, my sibling sort of spluttered and ignored me for the rest of the night, and I returned the favor.
Keep in mind that my mother was in the room this whole time. And she said... absolutely nothing. And now I'm wondering if she did that because she had lied to my sibling, and saying something would have revealed this.
Although it's also possible that my sibling (who almost certainly has the familial psychosis) imagined the conversation and believed it was real. Hard to say.
...I thought that as I got further away from the abuse, things would make more sense, not less.
Did my parents really gift my oldest sibling half a million dollars less than two years after telling me they wouldn't pay for college, or...? Did they gift a smaller amount, did they offer but not give it in the end, did they cosign a loan? And on the flip side - my sibling seemed genuinely surprised when I said I got a full scholarship, because they were under the impression that our parents were paying. Did our mother tell them that she was paying for my education when all she paid for was a few things for my dorm room, did she say she paid for something and my sibling assumed it was the whole thing, did she just straight-up lie?
In particular I remember a conversation in which my sibling blew up at me because I was upset that my mother got to travel to a place I'd dreamed of going my whole life and hadn't asked me (it was during finals week, so I wouldn't have been able to go anyway, and I wasn't yelling about it - just expressed that I was bummed after the fact), and the exact words out of their mouth were "she INVITED YOU and YOU SAID NO" - when no such thing had happened. And once I flatly stated that no, she hadn't, my sibling sort of spluttered and ignored me for the rest of the night, and I returned the favor.
Keep in mind that my mother was in the room this whole time. And she said... absolutely nothing. And now I'm wondering if she did that because she had lied to my sibling, and saying something would have revealed this.
Although it's also possible that my sibling (who almost certainly has the familial psychosis) imagined the conversation and believed it was real. Hard to say.
...I thought that as I got further away from the abuse, things would make more sense, not less.
Tags:
From:
no subject
From:
no subject