Unfortunately Not a Real Pony

(stares down Tyranny on GOG, on sale now) Okay as soon as I finish all of my adult responsibilities like exercise and cleaning I will buy it and lose the rest of my day to this game.

Game forums, inevitably: "The fighter class (or closest equivalent) is boring and no one plays it!"

Game statistics, just as inevitably: "The most popular class is the fighter, by a large margin."

TIL that Mordin Solus (Mass Effect) and Thaos ix Arkannon (Pillars of Eternity) are voiced by the same actor.

And now that I know this I can never unhear it.

Video game: You saved the world.

Me: Okay, cool.

Video game: Also, this woman you helped in an early side quest sent you a really sweet letter thanking you for saving her son.

Me: (bawling) ALL THE SUFFERING WAS WORTH IT FOR THIS MOMENT!

Confused Assassin's Creed and Animal Crossing and got Assassin's Crossing.

I saw a game mod a while back that made the game it modded gender neutral. The way it did this was by replacing every instance of pronouns with "they" and "gender" to "assigned gender".

I don't think the creator was wrong for making this or anything. It's definitely, however, a very straightforward example of where nonbinary vs binary trans people have different needs.

Adult media reimagined to be child-friendly, video game edition.

Half-Life: a kid just made a slingshot and is having an absolute blast slinging anything and everything at a really creepy old tree.

Portal: someone brought their very impressionable child to a lab studying rats and mazes on Take Your Child to Work Day.

Dragon Age: at a party where the birthday kid just got a huuuuuge Lego set, the kids are all having a blast building stuff and then having the dolls and stuffed animals destroy it.

The Last of Us: an extended family went on a camping trip, and the kids got sent off to bed so the adults could talk peacefully, so now they're lying in sleeping bags and trying to tell the creepiest and grossest stories to each other.

Fallout: after a very bad bout of chicken pox that forced them to stay home for two weeks, a kid is going wild running around the neighborhood again.

Assassin's Creed: the town built a new playground, and the neighborhood children are pretending to be secret agents based on what they've read in big colorful history books.

God of War: someone is trying to read a children's Greek mythology book as a bedtime story, but since their kid doesn't want to sleep they keep interrupting in the most annoying way they can think of.

Grand Theft Auto: the adults are letting a kid play with a Hot Wheels set a few yards away while they have tea.

Amnesia: parents went on vacation to an old castle, so the kids are having a slumber party and telling horror stories about it.

The Elder Scrolls: a local construction site was shut down, and some siblings snuck in to explore and this is totally not a thing that my siblings and I did in Ye Olde 1994.

I played about 10 hours of Oblivion... and 400+ each of Age of Empires, Age of Mythology, Dragon's Dogma, and a few other games. Steam knows this.

What's my "top recommended game" on Steam?

Fucking Skyrim.

My mother was insistent that, if I was staying home from school because I was sick, then I was not allowed to do anything fun, her thinking being that if I was well enough to sit up and play Age of Empires on the computer, then clearly I was well enough to get on the bus, walk around the school, pay attention in class, and not get the rest of the students sick.

She bragged to her friends about how she let her kids have mental health days, but the only time I got one of those was when the school sent me home and said I couldn't come back until I got a doctor's note saying I was better.

I love Untitled Goose Game, because now when I honk at people, instead of thinking "what the heck is wrong with that weirdo" they go "oh, he must be a fan of that Goose Game, HONK!"