(no subject)

I do not, in fact, have COVID.

Which means that my lungs have given up the ghost for some other reason. Current working hypothesis is my asthma leveling up.

We all die eventually...

"But what if you don't reconcile with your parents and they DIE?!?!?!"

Congratulations, you have discovered my secret plan!

(no subject)

I always find it disappointing when a video game speedrun relies on a glitch to go straight through the floor and skip half the game.

I'm even more disappointed when I look up "glitch free speedrun" and it... still uses a glitch to skip stuff.

(no subject)

Who is the oldest himbo that we have records of?

Was it Enkidu from The Epic of Gilgamesh?

(endless tears)

Sadness is realizing that you wrote a book in which the only time every single member of a family was in the same place at the same time was at the funeral for one of them.

(no subject)

Email: "Kick off your weekend with [product]!"

Me: "It's flipping Monday!"